How to be Anna Karina: A User�s Manual

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Step 1: Be whimsical.

This shouldn�t be too difficult.  After all, you�re Anna Karina.  You�re fucking adorable.  Just look at you in Band of Outsiders, you look like Audrey Hepburn.  And I love the scene where the shady fellow in your English class asks if you know how to kiss, and you pucker up your lips, and he�s not satisfied and he says, �How do you kiss a man?� and you stick your tongue out as far as you can and say in a garbled voice, �Comme �a.� You�re especially adorable in Pierrot le fou, when you�re singing with Jean-Paul Belmondo, or in Made in USA when you�re looking directly into the camera with a perplexed expression, like the Jim Halpert of your day.

Anna Karina, seductress, in Band of Outsiders.
Step 2: Carry a gun.

This may sound a bit counter-intuitive, but your former husband, Jean-Luc Godard, famously declared that all one needed to make a movie was a girl and a gun.  Now, you�re already a girl.  You just need a gun.  You had a gun in Pierrot le Fou and it served you quite well.  You did not have a gun in Made in USA, and just look, you weren�t able to shoot anyone, even thought you often needed to do so.

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Anna Karina, armed, from jhaladrut.blogspot.com.

Step 3: Don�t give a fuck.

You�re Anna fucking Karina.  You don�t have to give a fuck and you shouldn�t give a fuck.  Look at how you handled that fucked up situation in Rainer Werner Fassbinder�s Chinese Roulette; did you give a fuck? You certainly didn�t.  You were too cool�almost cold, I daresay�for that.  And sometimes it looks like you wear too much eye-liner, but do you give a fuck what I think about your make-up? No, because you�re Anna fucking Karina.

Anna Karina, clearly not giving a fuck, despite being in the presence of Jean-Paul Belmondo.

Step 4: Dance!

Step 5: Marry Jean-Luc Godard and Stay Married to Jean-Luc Godard (optional).
You don�t have to marry Jean-Luc Godard�you�re already Anna fucking Karina�but it might help you, in terms of your long-term career trajectory.  Because what movies were you in after you separated from Godard and he became a Maoist?  You were in Jacques Rivette�s adaptation of Diderot�s The Nun, which I�m kind of assuming was good, but, like most of Rivette�s work, it is not available on Region 1 DVD, because of philistines and price-fixers and all the technological riffraff I�ve denigrated in other posts.  You were in Fassbinder�s aforementioned Chinese Roulette, but that was kind of a bit role (that movie also had Macha M�ril, who was the star of Godard�s Une femme mari�e; Godard would later go on to work with Fassbinder�s frequent lead actress Hanna Schygulla, so it�s like Godard and the dead German traded actresses, much as Nana Kleinfrankenheim�s pimp tries to �trade� her in Vivre sa vie, which maybe contains your best performance).  So what else have you done?  Some British crap and some Italian crap, it looks like.  Should have stuck with Godard.  But whatever, you�re still Anna Karina, so who gives a fuck? Not you, that�s who.

Oh, he's a keeper.

Step 6: Enjoy!
You are now Anna Karina.  It must be a supreme pleasure.  Kudos.
You.



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